You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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