If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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