His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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