I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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