After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
They have beer where we have blood.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize