so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
