can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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