Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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