I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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