You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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