She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
