she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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