Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
