You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
