With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize