people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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