id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
They have beer where we have blood.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize