Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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