if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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