Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
