similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Randomize
