i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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