So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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