i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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