in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
