If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
