How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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