Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
