Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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