found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
