Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize