First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
