Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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