now i know why i became what i already was.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
