I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
