It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
try to milk me bitch
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