white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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