I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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