using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
