so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
