i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
