do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
