AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
