grandma shit on top of the toilet
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
