ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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