Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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