well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
