what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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