Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
