I feel like abortions should bother me more
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
