we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
