Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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