Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i drank out of a bidet.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
