I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
