please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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