your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
