He is such a slut. More and more my type.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
