i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dignity is for republicans.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
