I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize