So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
