is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
