i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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