I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
And then he peed in my hair
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