Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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