I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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