I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Are we still banned from the library?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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