She said her name was "party"
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
