Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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