i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
