They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
