someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I puked a lego.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
handjob tips. give me some.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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