My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
