i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
