I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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