I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just had sex on a roof
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize